God is Good

I got my first house cleaning job this morning. I start November 5, my first official day as a part timer at the church.

It is also my birthday. Woo Hoo! I'm now in my last year of my 20s. How sad and how exciting all at the same time. Looking back at this last year I have had to deal with some really tough situations and life changes. However I have grown a lot so I wouldn't trade the experiences or wish to have them changed. I'm glad that God doesn't show us the future. If on my 28th birthday I would have had a clue as to what the next year would entail, I couldn't have been able to cope with the dread and fear and worry.

Looking back at this last year I have also had some really great things happen. I finished school! How cool is that? Looking forward I know that God will continue to prove himself to be sufficient in EVERYTHING. I know God will provide more jobs as I need them. I know God will provide a computer and car when I need them. I know that he will help stretch and grow me into the image of his Son. God is the key. Life without him would be impossible.

I'm Official Now

I made business cards this morning to help secure cleaning jobs. I'm feeling all grown up now. Actually feeling grown up may have something to do with the fact that my 29th birthday is Monday. It's hard to believe that I only have one more year of being a 20 something. Soon I'll just be OLD. :)

Last Monday I started working for the man in my church. I think things went fairly well over all. It was a long day since between working for the church and Rod I put in about 13 hours. Today I will be working both places again. Thankfully I had coffee this morning.

Fear vs. Trust

The job situation isn't as scary as it was a few weeks ago.

When I heard that my hours at the Church were being drastically cut I started trying to figure out what I should do next in regards to employment. After applying for quite a few full time jobs and having a couple interviews, I wasn't at peace with accepting one. Actually I kept freaking out...to put it delicately. For the last few weeks I have played with the idea of juggling a couple part time jobs for a while. I know this would leave me needing to come up with my own health insurance, but I'm OK with that for the most part. So I have been praying about some part time opportunities that have come to my attention.

Last Friday morning I ran across Psalm 62:8.

Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us. Selah

The "pour out your heart before him" line really caught my attention. I have been praying about the situation this whole time, but I hadn't truly poured my heart out to God and told him my desires. I know that he already knows what I want and need, but he still wants us to ask. A father gets joy from knowing that his child trusts his love and generosity and thus feels total freedom to ask for good things. It probably hurts to know that his child wants something but is afraid to ask.

So Friday I seriously began to ask God to allow me to come up with various part time jobs that I would enjoy and still be able to earn enough money to support myself. That morning after I got to the office I received a phone call from a man in the church asking for some information. As we were chatting he asked how I was doing and I mentioned that I was hunting for work. He responded by asking me to work for him. How much clearer can God be in showing me that this is how I should pursue the next leg of my employed years? It was such a huge relief and confirmation that I am on the right track. Unfortunately working for him still doesn't give me enough hours or money but within hours of the phone call I was able to get a third part time job. And yet again, unfortunately, this job totaled with my other two jobs doesn't provide enough hours or money. But I have recently been able to chat with some people about a fourth possibility which involves cleaning houses. I know that my life will seem to be insane, but for a while I want to try this. Thankfully all the jobs can be accomplished during the day and early evening so I can still have a fairly "normal" schedule.

One thing I am praying for is that I will be able to buy a computer soon. If I can get a computer the job working for the man in my church could probably be done from home or at least Starbucks until I get internet service. Another thing I am praying for is that I will be able to secure some cleaning jobs soon and that they will pay well. I have a little under three weeks left of full time employment and I would like to have at least one cleaning job lined up before then. It would be an incredible "God thing" if I could have enough lined up to fill the needed hours.

Romans 12:12 ~ Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

Bittersweet

Life is a rollercoaster. This last weekend I was able to spend a few hours with a good friend of mine who, in less than a month, will be heading to South Africa as a missionary. It was bittersweet. I am so excited for her to be able to go and fulfill this part of God’s plan for her life. I have been able to watch her to through the process of gaining acceptance from the EBM missions board, raise support, and now I see her preparing to leave. A huge part of me wishes that I could go with her. I value her friendship and the benefits that I have reaped from knowing her. God has used her to sharpen me in so many ways. Her godward focus has challenged and encouraged me over these last few years that we have known each other.

Although at this point in life I can’t support her financially I can support her prayerfully.


Heather,
"The LORD bless you
and keep you;
the LORD make his face shine upon you
and be gracious to you;
the LORD turn his face toward you
and give you peace."
(Numbers 6:24-26)

I love you, sister!

Answers

Have you ever prayed fervently for something and then when the answer comes as a yes, you wish you could go back in time and ask for something entirely different? These last few weeks have been like that for me. I prayed that God would do something in my life to help me grow spiritually and help me overcome some reoccurring sins. The answer, while in the back of my mind was not completely unexpected, has proven to be a more powerful sculpting tool than I would have dreamed.

I have lived for years with a perceived sense of security that was totally based on my own ability to provide for myself. But God in his wisdom has chosen to tear down my false refuge and compel me to look to himself for true security. I am at a place in life where anything could happen. Some would see this as exciting, as a chance to improve my life and seize new opportunities; I’m not one of those people. Rather than embrace change I tend to fear it.

Earlier this week I was reminded of a few verses I memorized as a young child. Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” After I came across these verses I was surprised that they hadn’t come to mind weeks earlier. How basic can it get? Trust God, don’t depend on my own knowledge, recognize he is sovereign and in control, and he will show me what he wants me to do.

First Chronicles 28:9 is an admonishment from a parent to a child.“…know the God of your father and serve him with a whole heart and with a willing mind, for the LORD searches all hearts and understands every plan and thought. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will cast you off forever.”

One of my challenges right now is this: How will I come out on the other side of this testing? Will I be more focused on Christ? Will I fight my natural tendencies and serve God wholeheartedly? Will I gladly go and do what he asks? Or will I let my insecurity and fear cause me to fight to remain the same?

I have an incredible amount of support from my family and friends. So many people are praying for me. Until recently I hadn’t begun to comprehend the comfort and peace that results from hearing the words “I’m praying for you.” or “God has a plan and is in control. He will lead you to wherever he has designed for you to go.” I think that a lot of my current strength is stemmed from this aspect of Christianity: the body of Christ.

Have your cake and eat it too...

I need a weekend to recover from last weekend. Or maybe I need the routine of the workweek. Hmmm…something to ponder.

Friday and Saturday were fairly uneventful. Sunday evening I was at a friend’s house playing Dutch Blitz until 2 in the morning. We invented(?) a new way of playing that adds an element of panic and fun. Once the score keeper is finished tallying the scores from the previous hand we shuffle 3 times, set out our post and blitz piles and start playing even if the others haven’t gotten their piles laid out. I adds pressure to shuffle quickly and well.

On Monday we celebrated the 27th birthday of one of the members of the “crew.” This was done by getting lunch out at Monterey’s, going to a used book store, and then heading back to my place for a Star Trek movie marathon. We watched numbers 2, 4 and 6. I have to admit that even though I am a Trekkie I hadn't seen any of the original Star Trek movies the whole way through. Once we finished watching number 4 we "had" to stop for cake and ice-cream. I made the cake Sunday and it was probably the most memorable looking creation I have ever constructed. It was a layer cake and the top layer kept splitting while I was trying to frost it. Therefore the frosting was mostly globbed on the top in the middle. Spreading it just wouldn’t work without putting it apart more. It was hilarious.

blogging or lack therof

By my lack of blogging it would appear that my life has been completely dull. Perhaps this is true or perhaps I can’t write about my life due to the nature of the events. Maybe this will be changing within the next few weeks, but then maybe it won’t. Maybe I just read too much and don't have time to blog. But ultimately, "It's not my nature to be mysterious, but I just can't tell you."

Holeyness

Vacations can have all sorts of effects on people. Sometimes they are refreshing, sometimes they are energizing, sometimes they are tiring. My latest time away had an unusual result: I’m a bit more holey than I was last Friday.

Last Friday morning at 5:00am two of my close friends and I left Des Moines to spend a few days in Cincinnati. Each time we take this trip we also end up spending a few hours in Yellow Springs. When we went last year I was contemplating having my cartilage pierced again. Since I don’t have pain tolerance and I can never be sure how my body will react to pain I wimped out and didn’t get the piercing. After a year of thought I decided that this year I would risk experiencing a potential embarrassing and often painful reaction and get it done.

While I was sitting in the piercing chair waiting to have holes poked in my ear I couldn’t keep my mind from flashing back to former encounters with pain and sickness. A year ago March I stayed at a friends house for the night to relax. I had been hoping that the night away from my usual routine would help me recover from whatever it was that had been making me feel drained for over a month. About half way through a movie I decided to get up and brush my teeth. As soon as I stood up I knew that I should sit down because I was dizzy. So what did I do? I continued my jaunt to the bathroom all the while thinking that willpower would keep me conscious. After a few moments I thought, “Hey, this isn’t working and I still I feel like I’m going to pass out, what should I do? Lets carry on a conversation about old people and STDs!” - don’t ask. Dumb idea. After I made it to the bathroom I passed out, hitting my head a couple times on the way down for good measure. The story doesn’t end there, but we can pretend that it does.

Last September I went to my parents house to borrow a hose so I could spray my yard with weed killer. As I was tromping down the stairs to ask my dad where the hose was my feet flew out from under me and I landed on my rear on the stairs. It hurt. I seriously don’t recommend falling on the stairs. It’s not graceful and you may end up with bruises in places you don’t want people looking. In attempting to keep my parents from worrying I got up right away and finished my abruptly shortened and slowed walk to the basement. While trying to prove to my dad that I was fine and completely uninjured and relatively pain free I decided to sit down and chat for a bit. Minutes later I woke up to the sound of my mom yelling into the phone for an ambulance, my dad hanging on to me, and sweat running down my face. Seizures are almost as fun as fainting.

Thankfully the piercing went well and while it did hurt a bit I was able to cope without being humbled by my body’s tendency to freak out at pain.

I'm Back Up to Speed

I got back to my normal speed for jogging today. That’s encouraging. I think I would make a lot better time if I had an Ipod. I should get one someday.

I’m actually surprised that I made fairly decent time this morning. When I started out, every time my right arm swung forward it hurt. This is thanks to going to my friend’s place on a lake Saturday with the singles group from church. I spent time on the tube flying around the lake. It was painful but a blast.

This week I get to hang out at one of my sister's houses to take care of the pets while they are at family camp. On Sunday I spent the afternoon there watching her kid's two kittens and rat. That combination of animals has turned out to be quite entertaining. While I'm there I let the kittens out of the room they are kept in so they can run around. After I cleaned out the litter box I noticed that one of the kittens was getting ready to pounce on the rat’s cage. The rat was frantically running around. It was hilarious to see. I’m sure the rat didn’t think it was fun though.

Record Slows

I’m fairly certain that Monday morning and again this morning I set record slows for jogging. On Monday I saw that there was a lady ahead of me walking in the same direction as I was around the lake. I decided to look away for a few minutes and then look at her again to see how much distance I had gained on her. So for a few minutes I enjoyed jogging by the ducks and ducklings and avoided the animal excrement’s on the path and sprinklers that water the adjacent lawns and anyone who happens to be on the trail that early in the morning. When I looked up to see where the lady was, she was further ahead than she had been a few minutes earlier. I had to laugh over that one. How pathetic can I get? A lady was walking faster than I was jogging. I gave myself a pep talk explaining that I was slower than usual that morning because it was Monday and I hadn’t jogged since Friday and was still weighed down by dinner the night before and that I would be faster on Wednesday - today. I wasn’t.

Headache...

must have coffee....day 8 of no caffeine. yawn. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Queen for a Day (or a few minutes anyway)

Last night after church at about 9 a group of us went to a friend’s house to play Settlers of Catan. It was the first time I have won the game. I’ve only played about 5 times now, but since some of the people playing are extremely competitive I just wanted to take a moment and let the world know of my victory. WOO HOO ME!!

Since the game didn't end until about midnight I'm rather tired today. I'm also dragging a bit since I haven't had coffee or any caffeine since Sunday. I've been drinking coffee or tea in the mornings regularly since high school. Ten year habits are a bit painful to break.

The Giggling Lawn Mower

A few Fridays ago I decided to test my ability to stay sane and invite three of my nephews to my tiny little house to spend the night. After I got off work my sister and b-i-l dropped them off and the evening began. We started out by climbing my magnolia tree. Tree climbing was never my thing while I was growing up but I can understand their enjoyment and the rush they get from “climbing all the way up there.” My magnolia tree isn’t all that tall, but for 7, 5, and 3 year old boys its great. I guess its also great for roommates who like to talk on the phone while sitting in trees. But that is a different story.

Next the adventure took us to a local elementary school’s playground. I was impressed by the older boys’ ability to do the monkey bars. I’ve never been good at them and when I was growing up I guess I didn’t see the fun in feeling like the skin was going to be ripped off my hands. I guess that maybe that is part of the draw for the boys; they tend to like gross things. So what if the skin is pulled off their hands, that’s cool isn’t it? You can see blood and muscles and stuff.

While we were walking back to my house the youngest was really dawdling. I wasn’t paying a whole lot of attention to what he was doing because I was trying to keep my eyes on the two older boys who had thought they should run ahead and keep running even after I yelled to them to wait. After a little while, after the two finally stopped, I started watching what the youngest more closely. He was doing this odd thing of trotting about 10 feet, stopping, acting like he was starting a pull cord engine, and they he would trot another few feet all the while making an engine noise. Then it hit me. He was pretending to be a lawn mower. It was hilarious.

The next morning the older two boys woke up early to watch Saturday morning cartoons. After about half an hour I checked on the three year old. I heard an unexpected noise come from him so I leaned down to hear him better. He was giggling in his sleep. A little bit later when he woke up he told me that he was having funny dreams.

Weeks later this still makes me laugh. My nephew the lawn mower giggles in his sleep.

Weddings

Last Friday at about 3 pm I sneezed hard twice and then felt achy and drained. I’ve never had the onset of a cold be so sudden or violent. Generally when I get a cold I feel a bit tired and sneeze a few times and it gradually gets worse before getting better. I think this cold was worse the first couple hours than it was on day two or three. Not that you’re interested in reading about my cold.

Saturday I went to a wedding. It was perfect. God seriously blessed the bride and groom on their day. The weather couldn’t have been better for an outdoor wedding on a lake; it was warm and sunny with a gentle breeze. There was probably a little over a hundred people there. It was large enough to seem like a real wedding but small enough to be somewhat intimate. The bride was beautiful and the groom...nervous.

In watching the new bride and groom this last year their desire to please God and live ultimately for him has been evident. They both have a growing relationship with God, they are both active in the church, they protected their union by having safeguards in place to guard their purity. It was great to see how all of this was evident on that one specific day. It is going to be fun to watch and see how God continues to bless their marriage.

My buddy Jung

I've taken the Jung Typology test twice now. I have been “diagnosed” with having the same personality type both times, but at differing %points. I am INTJ: slightly expressed introvert, slightly expressed intuitive personality, slightly expressed thinking personality, very expressed judging personality.

However, after taking it twice, I think that the test, in order to get a better overall view of an individual’s personality type, should be taken a few times when you are in different situations. With my friends I am very expressed intuitive and very expressed thinking rather than slightly expressed. I think the test’s assessment is true of me when I am at the office. This makes sense seeing how I have been at the office both times I have taken it. I should complete it sometime when I'm out with my friends to see if there really is a difference.

I am always the very expressed judging personality. I tend to see things as black and white even when it comes to the “gray areas”. I generally know what I think and how to respond and act when I am faced with a gray area without feeling as if I am facing some type of moral crossroad or crisis. It doesn’t really bother me when other people choose to act in a way opposite of how I would react or prefer when they are faced with the same situation. I think that gray areas are, to a large degree, personal preferences that people frequently try to define as being a right or wrong, sin or not sin. I don't see them as being a big deal.

This blog has been brought to you by the sometimes slightly introverted, sometimes slightly thinking, and always very judgmental.

Walking, PT2

My brave friend and I survived our evening walk last night. I must add that the wind, knowing that it could not defeat us, was almost tame. It did attempt at one point to knock us over but we, in the face of danger, merely laughed and continued our journey.

Since the weekend has approached and my fearless friend and I, along with the rest of the Christian world, desire to celebrate Easter we plan to take a brief sabbatical from our expeditions and will continue where we left off sometime next week.

Happy Easter.

Walking

Walking can be a dangerous sport. Yesterday I went for a walk with a friend and I’m rather shocked and amazed that we made it through the entire estimated 1.25 miles. The wind was incredible; I don’t think it stopped trying to knock us over or make us freeze to death during the duration of our trek. Admittedly my friend is the true heroine of the story. As she was wearing long johns under her mesh workout pants and I wasn’t, she bravely allowed me to use her to block the wind. OK she didn’t have a choice since I hid behind her without first receiving her permission. But nevertheless she was my fearless champion. Today we plan, yet again, to brave the rigors of the voracious wind and test our survival skills. Will we survive?

Yawn

I’m tired. But what’s new? Other than having a new roommate and needing to adjust from living alone in my quiet home to living with someone who has a hard time dealing with silence, nothing in my life has changed. Ok so maybe that’s part of the reason why I’m tired although I could probably blame it on the weather. We are having another “London Day.” Cool and foggy with the sun no where to be seen. Maybe it’s a good thing I don’t have windows in the office. That would probably be depressing. Just in case you haven’t been able to figure it out, I’m rambling. I’m not quite sure what to say but I feel the need to add to my rather lengthy blog.

Sigh…it’s a chocolate day.

Question: Can frequently reminding someone who needs to be reminded be considered picking on them? Can it be justified in cases where if the individual doesn’t accomplish what needs to be done I’ll have to take up the slack and make it work?

DMax alive???

You may be wondering if I am still alive since I haven't posted for a few months. I am.

I spent most of last weekend baking. This isn't something that I do frequently. I tend to eat way too much of whatever it is that I am making so I try to avoid doing it. However, this baking frenzy didn't end with a sugar rush. Actually, I haven't been so tempted by any of the Christmas treats that I can't say no. I have had my share, but it's been a smaller share than usual.

Last weekend was also the weekend of the parties. Saturday (after I baked a cake) I went to my niece's birthday party. From there I went to the Christmas party for my church's singles class. The Christmas party was a blast. We did the usual...eating, white elephant gift exchange, play games.

BUT the best party of the season is to come...the annual "New Years Eve" all night movie marathon. A few years ago we decided to start the tradition of staying up all night to watch a series of movies. The first year we watched the Lord of the Rings extended edition trilogy. The next year we watched all six Star Wars movies. This year we are watching the Lord of the Rings trilogy again. I think the plan is to watch them every other year. Even though we take breaks to play games and move around it only took about 12 hours to watch them two years ago. Star Wars took a lot longer.

Since it may be a few months before I post again I should probably end by wishing you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Bad Habits

OK, so lately when my alarm goes off in the mornings I have been hitting snooze for about 45 minutes. I attribute this to the fact that work tends to be a bit slow. Yesterday I spent a bit of the day trying to find a new Christian radio station on the computer. KLOVE is good, but I really would like to hear more than the same dozen songs played over and over again. Today I really didn’t want to get up so I stayed in bed for an additional 18 minutes beyond what has become my typical extra 45 (snooze is 9 minutes). While I was getting ready this morning I had to make the choice between being late for work or eating breakfast. I decided to try to make it to the office on time.

So now I am sitting here with an empty stomach and lunch is hours away. In spite of my efforts for speed this morning I managed to be a few minutes late. I should probably be rededicating myself to getting out of bed the first time my alarm goes off. Then again, perhaps I will take some time today to endeavor to figure out what else I can cut out of my morning routine. I know winter is coming and the temperature is in the lower 40s but maybe I really don’t need to dry my hair.