Quick update

I must lead a boring life since I can go about 2 months, not update the old blog and still not really have anything to say. Summer is great. I really like not having a full time job right now. The last summer that I had this much down time was after my junior year of high school. That was 12 years ago. Wow! I'm getting old. But I guess people begin to think that when 30 is staring them in the face. I only have 4 months left of being in my 20s. I need to live it up.

I'm playing with the idea of going to grad school at BBGS. I think I could get a year of the Counseling program done via DVD before I would have to move to PA. I would love to have that degree, but I don't know if I would have enough guts to up and move when the time came. I would also have to take out at least $20,000 in loans and I would still have to work full time (or at least bring in a full time income). I'm not sure if I could handle all that. I would be better situated to attempt it in about a year. I'm just not sure what God wants me to do.

A couple months ago a friend took my picture while I was sitting in my magnolia tree. That is my current profile picture. I really like that tree...and the friend who took the picture. She rocks too!

Spring is Here...for now

For a couple seconds there my latest post consisted of an unfinished title. My pinky slipped and I hit enter while typing. Smooth, I know.

I feel somewhat obligated to post the occasional update. This gets a bit complicated since things really aren't changing. I guess that may be a good thing. In an hour Star Trek: Voyager comes on so I have a bit of time to think up some interesting babble to share.

These last couple weeks I have been part of a study on Eschatology at my church. It is an interesting topic, although I don’t think that anyone can truly know what is going to happen until after the fact. For last Sunday the goal was to read the first five books of the Bible. For this week I’m attempting to read the historical books – Joshua through Esther. That’s a big chunk of Bible, but I think I can do it. One thing I find ironic so far is that it is being led by a dispensationalist who keeps using the word covenant. Hmmm…makes one think, doesn’t it? :)

I guess that another interesting bit of useless information about me and my life is that I think I can have my house paid off before I’m 40. That’s not bad for someone who will turn 30 six months from today. I guess that it doesn’t get anymore grownup than this.

After posting this and reading through it I decided that I should add a bit about the start of spring. I did mention it in my title so I guess I obligated myself to mentioning it. Spring is here. There. Now I'm done.

Thoughts

God is continually amazing me with his presence in my life. The God of the universe thinks of me without stopping and on an average day I hardly think of him at all. How backwards is that? He has infinite worth and is so vast that thinking about him nonstop from now until forever is past would hardly even scratch the surface of who he is. I am no one and a moment of thought from God is more than adequate for covering every second of my life. Yet he chooses to think of me anyway.

Spring

My life has been fairly uneventful lately. A couple weeks ago two friends and I went to Kansas City to attend a concert. It was a blast. It had been way too long since we had done anything like that and way too long since the last time I was able to get out of town. On the way back we had car trouble. It was frustrating and funny at the same time. Somehow we managed to get stuck on the wrong side of town. There was an older guy who insisted that we needed to have the car jumped. We knew that wasn't the problem, but he kept insisting so it seemed to be easier to let him try than it was to get him to leave. Eventually we made it home.

I died my hair red that weekend. I will have to get a picture soon so I can show the difference. The funny thing is that my new color looks more natural than my real color.

This week is spring break. I don't really get much of a break, but I do have a little more variety to my schedule. The main thing I appreciate is the warmer weather. This last week I have jogged more than I did all winter and that seriously isn't much. The only down side to warmer weather is that I now need to get out into my yard and clean it up. I didn't get all the leaves raked last fall and now I have a bunch of branches to add to the piles. Hopefully the ground will dry out soon so it won't be so muddy.

I'm currently reading What is Reformed Theology? by RC Sproll. I am discovering that I agree with most of what I understand. Theology is never an easy read. If it is, the book probably isn't worth reading in the first place. So it is possible that I disagree more than I realize, but I just don't quite understand what he is really saying due to my own lack rather than poor writing. The main thing that I disagree with is in regard to double predestination. Sproul seems to be saying that if one believes in predestination, then by default they should believe double predestination. After reading the section in the book on this, I still don't agree. I think that there is a difference between someone being actively condemned by God because God actively choses to condemn them and someone being condemned because they weren't chosen for salvation. Deep reading and deep thinking. Who can know God's thoughts?

Work

I thought I would give a quick update since I have my computer online and I have a couple extra minutes.

One of the job opportunities I mentioned Sunday has worked out. I will now be the individual cleaning the auditorium wing of the church's building every week. This should add at least six hours of work to my week. I know that this isn't really anything big but it is God's way of providing, so I am thankful.

I should hopefully have an interview soon for the other job opportunity I mentioned. I'll post more as I have more information.

Things are working out in God's timing and I'm really enjoying the work he has provided.

Bid Pt. 2

I ended up not getting the job I mentioned in my last entry. The homeowners didn't really want to pay someone to clean their house. It would have been about a four hour job and they only wanted to pay for two hours of work. But since then a couple different non-house cleaning opportunities have come up. I think that I will wait to share about that until after I know if anything works out.

I've decided that God really does know what he is doing. :) I'm a much more relaxed person since I'm not in the office for forty hours a week. I don't think that women were created for a typical office job. We were designed to handle chaos and variety.

In the end I'm thankful for all the years I was able to work there full-time and I am thankful that I am able to be there part-time now. It has been a growing experience.

Bid

I put in a bid on a house cleaning job last week. I’m not really sure if I want it. I think that the people have the tendency to be cheap. They don’t want to pay me the same amount that they paid the woman who cleaned for them a year ago. The lady of the house seemed to think that it would only take me about 2.5 hours to clean everything. The woman who used to clean said it took her 4 hours. Judging from the size of the house I would tend to think it would take close to 4 hours. UMMM…maybe the lady who lives there is capable of speed cleaning. I should know if I got the job later this week.

Possibilities

Lately God has been showing me different options, or possibilities, for the future. As usual, I don’t have time to share much right now. But I guess that since I haven’t made any decisions I don’t really have a lot to share anyway.

One quick update is that I am placing a bid on a cleaning job Thursday evening. At this point I am hoping that it works out. But as God has been showing me what I want and what is best isn’t always in agreement. If the situation isn’t one I should be in, I seriously hope that God spares me.

I have Upward cheerleading practice soon. This year has been the best yet. Maybe I will be able to post a picture of “my girls” soon. They seriously rock! They are a huge encouragement with their desire to learn and willingness to focus on the task at hand. Thanks girls!

An Overdue Update

OK so I didn’t follow through in adding pictures to the blog. In fact, not only have I not added pictures yet, but I haven’t even been writing. If I had internet access at home I would be more likely to update things more frequently. I can’t even remember the last time I had my computer online besides today. Maybe someday I can connect at home…

But until then I will have to try harder to update things more frequently, maybe once a month or so. Even that would be improvement at this point. Maybe this should be a late New Years' resolution.

I’ve experienced more life drama this last week or so. Because of what it is and who is involved, I really can’t share details. However, I think that God is continuing to use the more traumatic, or rather traumatic to me, things of life to help me get to the point of moving away from here.

An edited excerpt from my journal summarizes some of the more internal things that have been occurring in my life…

Recently I started re-reading the Christy Miller series. Ironically enough, it seems like the books for teen and pre-teen girls fit better to my life now than it did when I was younger. One thing that stood out in the first book was when one of the guys told Christy, the day after she accepted Christ, was that life is hard but that is how God brings us closer to himself and how he works out our spiritual growth. From the second book I got a verse. Deuteronomy 31:8. The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. I wish I would have found that verse a couple months ago.

God is before me, behind me, above me, below me, and beside me. I am encompassed in the shelter of his wings. Psalm 81.

Since I haven’t written since around Thanksgiving I should probably say that this last Christmas was the best Christmas I have had in a couple years.

Here are some highlights…and pictures.




I gave coffee to one of my nephews. He takes his coffee the same way his dad does. A little bit of coffee and a lot of extra flavoring. I think I added egg nog. He liked it.












I would add more pictures than this, but I can't find them on my computer. I haven't played with things enough to really know what I am doing. I also don't have a camera, so the selection is rather limited. Tonight my family is celebrating the birthday of one of my sisters. Perhaps this will be a good photo op.

I think I am setting a personal record for blog length today. I am loading cds to my computer so I can load them to my iPod. (Christmas was GREAT!) I currently have under 200 songs loaded and am loading more so I can have more variety.

I guess that an update on my job situation would be a good thing to include.

I'm currently OK. I'm still working at the church, as a book keeper for a man in the church, and I'm still cleaning my one house. I have also been baby-sitting in the mornings for a friend and teacher at the school I attended while growing up. It has really surprised me that I haven't gotten any more houses, but God has been providing.

My furnace was installed the week between Christmas and New Years thanks to my seriously cool b-i-l. He sacrificed about three days of his vacation for me. Hopefully his four sons turn out to be a lot like him.

Choir practice starts in about 20 minutes so I should probably stop playing.

Until next month...

Technology

Sometime soon I am going to start adding pictures to the blog. I have some fun ones from a nephew's birthday party earlier this month and from Thanksgiving.

Soon...but not quite yet.

Liberty

This morning I read 1 Kings 9. The first of part of the chapter is about the Queen of Sheeba’s visit to King Soloman. She was amazed by his wisdom and wealth and gave the credit to God for it all. In verses 8-10 she says, “ “

In thinking about these verses this morning and wondering how they should, in a very practical way, effect and change my life I thought about the wealth that I have. My wealth to many people doesn’t seem like much, but to others I’m extremely blessed. The last 10 years or so look a bit like this:

• Age 18: go to Word of Life Bible Institute in Florida for a year. I had to get a small loan to complete the school year but it was paid off within three years.
• Age 20: After coming back to Iowa I got a good job without even looking for one. My hours were 1-9pm Tuesday to Saturday so after a year of working, in which I bought and paid off a car, I was able to go to a local Christian college.
• Age 21: After a year of school I decided that I shouldn’t continue my education there. During my year there Liberty University changed their age requirement for their Distance Learning Program.
• Age 22: My hours at work were cut in half. During this time the secretary at my church and her husband were getting busy with deputation for going to Portugal to teach in a school for missionary kids. She resigned and I was asked to take her place as the full time secretary.
• Age 23: I started school through LU’s DLP and end up taking a two week missions trip to Costa Rica.
• Age 24: I bought my house.
• Age 25-28: while I continue and eventually finish school I spend two weeks in South Africa, and basically just live my life.
• Age 28: a girl in my church who needs help and a place to live moves in with me for six months. This is a growing and learning experience for both of us.
• Age 29: my hours at work are cut more than in half. Even though my car is old and junky it is still running so I don’t have to worry about replacing it…at the moment. I am able to buy a new furnace and a computer. I find other jobs to help supplement what I am no longer earning at the church (and need to continue to find more).

All of this makes me rich. I don’t need or want a ton of possessions. I have everything.

Another thought I had about the life of Soloman is this: if someone like Soloman lived today the average Christian wouldn’t pay attention to him, no matter how much wisdom God gave him. Here is part of my logic: How many wives and concubines did he have? How many slaves were under him? I know that times have changed and polygamy isn’t accepted anymore, but it wasn’t widely practiced back then either. I think it was fairly limited to the wealthy.

Also lets take a look at Soloman’s dad, King David. We all know what he did with Bathsheba. And don’t forget about what David did when he was running from King Saul and acted like he was insane: drooling and acting like a mad man. With the prevalent mentality today, we wouldn’t give David a second thought other than to tell our kids to stay away from him. We would never believe that God would or could use someone like that.

This mentality and view of people who “sin big,” when personally applied to ourselves, can keep us from truly following God and living in the freedom that he has given us through the cross.

A few years ago I was talking to someone about Chrsitian liberty. What he said still sticks echoes in my mind today even though I haven’t fully realized the truth of what he said. He basically told me, “Christian liberty isn’t about having a shorter list of don’ts. It isn’t about a list; it doesn’t even include the concept of a list. Christian liberty is about the freedom we have by being children of God. We aren’t bound by sin or the law. God doesn’t want our allegiance to a list of dos and don’ts. He just wants us. Our sin will be taken care of, we will change, as we grow closer to Him.”

Changes

I've been part time for a couple weeks now. I'm really enjoying the more relaxed schedule. Until this week, I haven't had to be anywhere by 8:00 am. It's been nice. My only concern is that I still don't have any additional house cleaning jobs beyond the one I got in October. It will all come together eventually though.

I got my computer a week ago yesterday. It's nice. It is exactly what I want. The only problem is that I can't seem to get the mouse settings adjusted so that the cursor insertion point doesn't change every couple minutes based on how long the mouse has been sitting still.

I got my new furnace last Friday. It won't be installed for a while still, but it is nice to have it.

I guess that not much else is going on in my life right now beyond cat sitting while my sister and her family is in Arizona. I'm not a big fan of cats since I am alergic to them. Oh well. I'm glad that I can help out.

Now that I have a computer I will try to blog more often. I don’t have internet, but my sister has wireless and I recently discovered an internet café that is close to my house. It shouldn’t be too much of a problem to keep up with things now.

Uh Oh

With only 13 minutes left of my fulltime career here in the office, I'm starting to get sad.

Thankfully, and unexpectedly, yesterday God gave me the opportunity to buy a new furnace for really cheap. And thankfully since I can get the furnace for about $2000 less than I was anticipating I was able to go ahead and order the computer I want earlier today.

God is good, even when it is bittersweet.

Life and Changes

Tomorrow is my last day of working fulltime at my current job. I’m looking forward to the change of pace. It will be nice not to have to be up early next Monday morning. Hopefully that schedule won’t last too long since I need to get cleaning jobs lined up soon, but a week or two of not needing to wake up early would be nice.

Earlier today I was asked if I was nervous about tomorrow. Surprisingly I’m not nervous, upset, or anything like that…at the moment. Tomorrow may be entirely different. I know that people will be watching me all day to see how I am handling it all. That may get to me more than the change does. Actually in this situation I may end up being my own worst enemy. I'm hoping that I don't wake up and think "This is my last day to get up early to go to the office." and "This is the last time I will have to deal with the school rush to get to work." I would seriously annoy myself by doing that.

My desired new schedule is this: Mondays and Wednesdays - clean in the mornings and work at the office in the afternoons. Tuesdays and Thursdays - clean sometime during the day and then work for APS (a.k.a. the guy in my church - I think it is called APS anyway). Fridays - work at the church most of the day as secretary, or whatever I am called nowadays, then clean the office.

Since I only have one cleaning job lined up so far, next week I will be able to spend more time working for APS. Right now it is good for APS that I don’t have other work lined up. Since we are trying to get things organized and set up, the job will initially be more time consuming. Next week I will also start typing the dissertation for a lady in the church congregation.

My life used to be boring. Now on top of working as an “office assistant” I am a custodian, house cleaner, book keeper, and typist. I’m sure that before things get settled I will be able to add to that list.

I am hoping that eventually an opportunity will open up at a place I had applied at a month or so ago. That job is along the lines of what I think I want to do with my life. But until then or until God shows me something else I need to be doing, this is what I am pursuing.

God is Good

I got my first house cleaning job this morning. I start November 5, my first official day as a part timer at the church.

It is also my birthday. Woo Hoo! I'm now in my last year of my 20s. How sad and how exciting all at the same time. Looking back at this last year I have had to deal with some really tough situations and life changes. However I have grown a lot so I wouldn't trade the experiences or wish to have them changed. I'm glad that God doesn't show us the future. If on my 28th birthday I would have had a clue as to what the next year would entail, I couldn't have been able to cope with the dread and fear and worry.

Looking back at this last year I have also had some really great things happen. I finished school! How cool is that? Looking forward I know that God will continue to prove himself to be sufficient in EVERYTHING. I know God will provide more jobs as I need them. I know God will provide a computer and car when I need them. I know that he will help stretch and grow me into the image of his Son. God is the key. Life without him would be impossible.

I'm Official Now

I made business cards this morning to help secure cleaning jobs. I'm feeling all grown up now. Actually feeling grown up may have something to do with the fact that my 29th birthday is Monday. It's hard to believe that I only have one more year of being a 20 something. Soon I'll just be OLD. :)

Last Monday I started working for the man in my church. I think things went fairly well over all. It was a long day since between working for the church and Rod I put in about 13 hours. Today I will be working both places again. Thankfully I had coffee this morning.

Fear vs. Trust

The job situation isn't as scary as it was a few weeks ago.

When I heard that my hours at the Church were being drastically cut I started trying to figure out what I should do next in regards to employment. After applying for quite a few full time jobs and having a couple interviews, I wasn't at peace with accepting one. Actually I kept freaking out...to put it delicately. For the last few weeks I have played with the idea of juggling a couple part time jobs for a while. I know this would leave me needing to come up with my own health insurance, but I'm OK with that for the most part. So I have been praying about some part time opportunities that have come to my attention.

Last Friday morning I ran across Psalm 62:8.

Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us. Selah

The "pour out your heart before him" line really caught my attention. I have been praying about the situation this whole time, but I hadn't truly poured my heart out to God and told him my desires. I know that he already knows what I want and need, but he still wants us to ask. A father gets joy from knowing that his child trusts his love and generosity and thus feels total freedom to ask for good things. It probably hurts to know that his child wants something but is afraid to ask.

So Friday I seriously began to ask God to allow me to come up with various part time jobs that I would enjoy and still be able to earn enough money to support myself. That morning after I got to the office I received a phone call from a man in the church asking for some information. As we were chatting he asked how I was doing and I mentioned that I was hunting for work. He responded by asking me to work for him. How much clearer can God be in showing me that this is how I should pursue the next leg of my employed years? It was such a huge relief and confirmation that I am on the right track. Unfortunately working for him still doesn't give me enough hours or money but within hours of the phone call I was able to get a third part time job. And yet again, unfortunately, this job totaled with my other two jobs doesn't provide enough hours or money. But I have recently been able to chat with some people about a fourth possibility which involves cleaning houses. I know that my life will seem to be insane, but for a while I want to try this. Thankfully all the jobs can be accomplished during the day and early evening so I can still have a fairly "normal" schedule.

One thing I am praying for is that I will be able to buy a computer soon. If I can get a computer the job working for the man in my church could probably be done from home or at least Starbucks until I get internet service. Another thing I am praying for is that I will be able to secure some cleaning jobs soon and that they will pay well. I have a little under three weeks left of full time employment and I would like to have at least one cleaning job lined up before then. It would be an incredible "God thing" if I could have enough lined up to fill the needed hours.

Romans 12:12 ~ Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

Bittersweet

Life is a rollercoaster. This last weekend I was able to spend a few hours with a good friend of mine who, in less than a month, will be heading to South Africa as a missionary. It was bittersweet. I am so excited for her to be able to go and fulfill this part of God’s plan for her life. I have been able to watch her to through the process of gaining acceptance from the EBM missions board, raise support, and now I see her preparing to leave. A huge part of me wishes that I could go with her. I value her friendship and the benefits that I have reaped from knowing her. God has used her to sharpen me in so many ways. Her godward focus has challenged and encouraged me over these last few years that we have known each other.

Although at this point in life I can’t support her financially I can support her prayerfully.


Heather,
"The LORD bless you
and keep you;
the LORD make his face shine upon you
and be gracious to you;
the LORD turn his face toward you
and give you peace."
(Numbers 6:24-26)

I love you, sister!

Answers

Have you ever prayed fervently for something and then when the answer comes as a yes, you wish you could go back in time and ask for something entirely different? These last few weeks have been like that for me. I prayed that God would do something in my life to help me grow spiritually and help me overcome some reoccurring sins. The answer, while in the back of my mind was not completely unexpected, has proven to be a more powerful sculpting tool than I would have dreamed.

I have lived for years with a perceived sense of security that was totally based on my own ability to provide for myself. But God in his wisdom has chosen to tear down my false refuge and compel me to look to himself for true security. I am at a place in life where anything could happen. Some would see this as exciting, as a chance to improve my life and seize new opportunities; I’m not one of those people. Rather than embrace change I tend to fear it.

Earlier this week I was reminded of a few verses I memorized as a young child. Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” After I came across these verses I was surprised that they hadn’t come to mind weeks earlier. How basic can it get? Trust God, don’t depend on my own knowledge, recognize he is sovereign and in control, and he will show me what he wants me to do.

First Chronicles 28:9 is an admonishment from a parent to a child.“…know the God of your father and serve him with a whole heart and with a willing mind, for the LORD searches all hearts and understands every plan and thought. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will cast you off forever.”

One of my challenges right now is this: How will I come out on the other side of this testing? Will I be more focused on Christ? Will I fight my natural tendencies and serve God wholeheartedly? Will I gladly go and do what he asks? Or will I let my insecurity and fear cause me to fight to remain the same?

I have an incredible amount of support from my family and friends. So many people are praying for me. Until recently I hadn’t begun to comprehend the comfort and peace that results from hearing the words “I’m praying for you.” or “God has a plan and is in control. He will lead you to wherever he has designed for you to go.” I think that a lot of my current strength is stemmed from this aspect of Christianity: the body of Christ.

Have your cake and eat it too...

I need a weekend to recover from last weekend. Or maybe I need the routine of the workweek. Hmmm…something to ponder.

Friday and Saturday were fairly uneventful. Sunday evening I was at a friend’s house playing Dutch Blitz until 2 in the morning. We invented(?) a new way of playing that adds an element of panic and fun. Once the score keeper is finished tallying the scores from the previous hand we shuffle 3 times, set out our post and blitz piles and start playing even if the others haven’t gotten their piles laid out. I adds pressure to shuffle quickly and well.

On Monday we celebrated the 27th birthday of one of the members of the “crew.” This was done by getting lunch out at Monterey’s, going to a used book store, and then heading back to my place for a Star Trek movie marathon. We watched numbers 2, 4 and 6. I have to admit that even though I am a Trekkie I hadn't seen any of the original Star Trek movies the whole way through. Once we finished watching number 4 we "had" to stop for cake and ice-cream. I made the cake Sunday and it was probably the most memorable looking creation I have ever constructed. It was a layer cake and the top layer kept splitting while I was trying to frost it. Therefore the frosting was mostly globbed on the top in the middle. Spreading it just wouldn’t work without putting it apart more. It was hilarious.