Fear vs. Trust

The job situation isn't as scary as it was a few weeks ago.

When I heard that my hours at the Church were being drastically cut I started trying to figure out what I should do next in regards to employment. After applying for quite a few full time jobs and having a couple interviews, I wasn't at peace with accepting one. Actually I kept freaking out...to put it delicately. For the last few weeks I have played with the idea of juggling a couple part time jobs for a while. I know this would leave me needing to come up with my own health insurance, but I'm OK with that for the most part. So I have been praying about some part time opportunities that have come to my attention.

Last Friday morning I ran across Psalm 62:8.

Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us. Selah

The "pour out your heart before him" line really caught my attention. I have been praying about the situation this whole time, but I hadn't truly poured my heart out to God and told him my desires. I know that he already knows what I want and need, but he still wants us to ask. A father gets joy from knowing that his child trusts his love and generosity and thus feels total freedom to ask for good things. It probably hurts to know that his child wants something but is afraid to ask.

So Friday I seriously began to ask God to allow me to come up with various part time jobs that I would enjoy and still be able to earn enough money to support myself. That morning after I got to the office I received a phone call from a man in the church asking for some information. As we were chatting he asked how I was doing and I mentioned that I was hunting for work. He responded by asking me to work for him. How much clearer can God be in showing me that this is how I should pursue the next leg of my employed years? It was such a huge relief and confirmation that I am on the right track. Unfortunately working for him still doesn't give me enough hours or money but within hours of the phone call I was able to get a third part time job. And yet again, unfortunately, this job totaled with my other two jobs doesn't provide enough hours or money. But I have recently been able to chat with some people about a fourth possibility which involves cleaning houses. I know that my life will seem to be insane, but for a while I want to try this. Thankfully all the jobs can be accomplished during the day and early evening so I can still have a fairly "normal" schedule.

One thing I am praying for is that I will be able to buy a computer soon. If I can get a computer the job working for the man in my church could probably be done from home or at least Starbucks until I get internet service. Another thing I am praying for is that I will be able to secure some cleaning jobs soon and that they will pay well. I have a little under three weeks left of full time employment and I would like to have at least one cleaning job lined up before then. It would be an incredible "God thing" if I could have enough lined up to fill the needed hours.

Romans 12:12 ~ Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.